I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
is that a dick in a sweater?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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