belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
