I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
