You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
