Fuck appropriateness.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
