How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
