p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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