"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
