i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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