This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
