I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
