She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
