I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
two words: eviction party
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
