I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
