I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
