i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
