I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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