i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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