I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
