so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
