i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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