My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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