it was like his penis was on wheels.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
third nipple confirmed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
