So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
