I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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