erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
