farters have to be the big spoon...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
