Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
