I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
