I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
this boner is exhausting
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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