as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize