i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
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