Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
