Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Your penis caused this!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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