Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
