The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
