i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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