chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
