I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
