Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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