my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
