I showed him my bush... on skype.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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