I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
