i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
