Kiss
Puke
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
