he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
