you guys were way drunker than both of me
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
