your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
