Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
