WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize
