At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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