I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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